


i feel so far away

by wingsofadreamer



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Enstars Shipping Olympics, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, mika is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 08:24:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20224798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingsofadreamer/pseuds/wingsofadreamer
Summary: ❝ please stay by my side. ❞ — Entry for Round 3 of ESOAs Mika lies awake through yet another sleepless night in Utopia, his mind wanders to the past.





	i feel so far away

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: memories and recording
> 
> this is the same AU from one of my other works, odd rhythms! i'm thinking of making a fleshed out story for it, and i guess this is my way of worldbuilding as well as figuring out mika's backstory. please enjoy!
> 
> july 7th, a good song that accompanies the fic very well!

Like Mika, Utopia too was sleepless.

There was always the sound of hovering cars and buses bustling about, whizzing through the sky, honking when things got mildly inconvenient for the driver. It was distant, and Mika was used to noise, but it usually didn’t keep him up like this. He sighed as he rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. Next to him, a somewhat fair distance away on the full-sized bed, Midori was asleep, his torso rising and falling in a seemingly perfect rhythm. 

In an unfamiliar place, it was hard for Mika to get ahold of himself and truly relax. After just a few days of walking around and interacting with technology so new and foreign to him, and long and meticulous discussion with Midori of the plan to leave Utopia, he was exhausted, but couldn’t will himself to close his eyes and rest. It was as though a creeping feeling had settled in the back of his mind, still not letting Mika bring his guard down.

As he stared at the blank ceiling for what seemed like hours, the sound of rain pattering against the apartment building slowly became more evident. He lifted his head and stared at the raindrops hitting the window and inching their way down the glass. He sighed again, slipping out of the bed as silently as possible before sitting at a wooden chair next to the window. The wooden chair was quite out of place for a world full of trivial technological things like floating, metal chairs that lit up blue and glowing tables that brought you your food. The vague sense of familiarity that the chair brought was just enough for Mika to relax a little, resting his back on the chair and letting his mind wander elsewhere.

…

_ “Oshi-san, did ya need me to get anythin’ else other than what’s on the list?” Mika called out as he slipped his boots on, taking a look at a piece of lined paper in his hands. A pink haired individual sat in the living room just across from the entrance where Mika was getting ready, a sketchbook laid out on the table, fabrics scattered all around the area. He paused his scribbling, tapping his pencil on his chin for a moment before looking at Mika. _

_ “I need more silk,” he said before resuming his sketching. _

_ “Gotcha! I’ll be back in a bit!” Mika yelled before opening the door, suddenly being blasted with a wave of hot air. Sand lazily flew through the air, riding on gentle gusts of wind. Mika put his face mask and goggles on, hopping onto a shiny, sand-colored moped and quickly revving up the engine, sand suddenly bursting upwards from below the vehicle. Mika sped away onto the road, feeling the wind rip through his long hair, sand hitting his face. _

_ He loved to feel free. _

_ Mika always loved to feel like he was flying. _

…

But Mika had long since lost his wings.

He closed his eyes tight, trying to shake the images of buildings burning and falling apart piece by piece. Alas, the image had burned itself behind his eyelids, the flames forever ingrained within his mind. He shook his head free of the image as tears blurred his vision of the dark room, the only source of light coming from the soft glow of the streetlights outside. Remembering the weeks he’d spent alone in the void of space after fleeing from his own planet only brought Mika more distress, knowing that the very last words he ever uttered to his mentor were something that his mentor had never gotten the chance to hear.

When he closed his eyes again, he let those painful memories resurface within his mind.

…

_ Fire and debris were everywhere Mika looked. People running, running for their lives, trying to escape an unstoppable force: a rebellion-killing dictatorship, hunting all over the universe for planets exactly like Mika’s. Above all of the chaos, ships slowly descend, black flags with a blazing red set of triangles unfurl themselves, flying proud above the flames and explosions. Mika coughs, smoke clogging his lungs, hindering his vision as he follows his beloved mentor, who had been dragging him through the chaos by the wrist, rushing past others who were running in all different directions. Shu was also coughing and sputtering, a large bag of outfits on his shoulder. Mika was dizzy from trying to process everything that had happened. _

_ “K...Kagehira, we must make haste. This ship… I have not had a need to use it, at least, not until now. But I fear it may be in flames by the time we reach it. That is why…” _

_ “R-Right. Y’can take the lead from here, Oshi-san.” _

_ Shu held on tightly to Mika’s wrist as they ran. _

_ When the duo reached the building, they’re relieved to find that the area that the warehouse was situated in hadn’t been touched by the oncoming wave of attacking ships in the sky. Mika looked at the sky, which was now a discolored orange, the smoke distorting the beautiful color and painting the sky with splotches of gray. The two quickly rushed in and noticed others in the warehouse, scrambling to their owned ships and flying out to escape a terrifyingly close end. Shu made his way over to a small ship, quickly punching in a code and taking a set of keys out of his pocket, unlocking the driver’s hatch and ushering Mika in. _

_ The sounds of bullets and bombs were distant now, but the screaming that followed was nearly deafening to Mika. His home, his sanctuary, his moped, everything he knew… all gone, within a matter of hours. He plopped himself onto the lone seat at the front of the suspiciously small ship and stares blankly at the control panel. He recalled having worked on a similar ship with some of the local townspeople, so he powered up the main panel and began switching on the things needed for takeoff. He got up to make sure the oxygen tanks were set and that there were two masks in case of emergency, but after looking through the emergency supplies he only found a single one. In fact, all of the supplies laid out were only enough for one person. _

_ “Hey, Oshi-san,” Mika began as he walked back to the dashboard, “there’s only ‘nough stuff for one person, so we gotta be extra careful comin’ out— Oshi-san…?” _

_ In the ship’s only seat, his mentor had been adjusting the settings on the control panel, getting it ready for flight. Outside, the sounds of chaos were horrifyingly close. Shu stood up and looked at Mika with an unwavering gaze, emotions unreadable as purple eyes look down at blue and yellow ones. _

_ “That is correct Kagehira, this ship is suitable only for one person. You must hurry before they reach the warehouse and it is too late,” Shu said with the slightest sigh. He reached into his bag and took out a small, porcelain doll, the finest silk clothing draped over her figure. He stared fondly at the doll for a few moments before gently pressing his lips to her forehead, closing his eyes before Mika could see the tears beginning to well within them. “Please take care of Mademoiselle for me in my… absence.” _

_ “Y-Ya’ve gotta be kiddin’, Oshi-san… There’s no way I’m leavin’ without ya, I… I’m sure we can fit ya on the ship, we jus’ gotta—” _

_ “Without a seat to situate myself on, I would simply tumble this way and that, you idiot.” Shu furrowed his eyebrows, suddenly looking conflicted. “You are young, Kagehira. You have a favorable chance to escape this terrible fate.” _

_ Mika looked at his mentor with disbelief. “You do too! You can’t just leave me like that… You… No! I ain’t leavin’ without ya! There’s just no way!” _

_ Shu suddenly rushed forward, catching the now shaking Mika in a tight embrace. Distant, purple eyes gazed at the opening of the warehouse where flames arose from nearby buildings, sparks flying high and proud in the sky. His expression was ever unchanging as a single tear fell down his cheek, and he knowingly maintained his grip on Mika for a few more moments. The two were silent, save for Mika’s quiet sniffling until Shu pulled away from him.  _

_ “I set the ship to take off soon. I expect that you’ll guide it out of orbit, and jump to hyperspace when you get a reasonable distance.”  _

_ “This small thing can jump to hyperspace…?!” _

_ “Yes. You’ll have everything you need here, so you will be all set once you take off. Just… don’t do anything reckless or idiotic. And don’t shut yourself off from the rest of the world, either. Your head may be full of cotton, but I believe that you will make the right decisions.” Shu made his way to the hatch where they had entered, resting his hand on the handle. _

_ “Live your life, Kagehira.” _

…

“How’m I even supposed to do that…?” Mika whispered to himself, his voice trembling. Tears had long since started flowing down his cheeks. The memories had been too much for him in the end, and he was stuck with tightly gripping the arms of the chair while trying to silently sob to himself without waking the other person in the room, watching the rain rhythmically tap and splash against the window.

Soon after, he calmed down enough to stop sobbing and simply stared out the window with a blank expression, still firmly gripping the chair as if trying to keep his grip on his sanity. After a few moments, Midori stirred from his slumber, sitting up in his bed and looking over at Mika.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

Mika turned to face Midori, praying his eyes weren’t swollen and red from crying. His grip on the chair’s arms loosened just a bit, to appear more relaxed.

“‘M doin’ jus’ fine.”

“...I could sense a raise in your heart rate levels earlier. I can also sense you’re feeling anguish and confusion.”

_ Damn androids,  _ Mika thought to himself as he sighed. Midori simply looked at him with a vaguely worried expression as he got up from the bed and made his way over to the other, fingers tapping in a perfect rhythm against his sweatpants.

“My systems calculate that a strong embrace is the action that will produce the best outcome, or something… I’m a little sleepy, so my AI processor and my consciousness aren’t really in the same boat right now.”

Mika raises an eyebrow. “Those aren’t… the same things?”

“...It’s complicated and annoying to explain, sorry…”

“Understandable. ‘m sorry you had to see that. What I did, uh, earlier.”

“It’s okay. Crying is a completely natural function of the human body, and a natural response when you’re feeling grief or sadness, so...” Somehow, the android’s words made him feel just a little reassured. He stood up and looked up at the slightly taller individual.

“That… ‘strong embrace’ doesn’t sound too bad, honestly.” He says with a shrug.

“Really…? I mean, you don’t have to, that’s just what my AI told me I should do..—”

“It’s fine.”

“Um… Okay… I’m going to hug you now…” Midori hesitated before pulling the smaller into a quick hug, fastening his arms around Mika’s torso as Mika finds himself suddenly enveloped in a surprisingly warm embrace. Midori’s carrot patterned sweater was extremely soft, and as he returned the embrace he found himself closing his eyes and sinking his face into the crook between his neck and his shoulder.

It wasn’t anything like the last embrace he’d had, this one definitely felt different. It had the same homely, soft feel, however, and Midori’s hug was not too tight, like he was letting him breathe and gather himself. Mika’s cheeks were dusted red, starting to enjoy the small gesture a little more than intended, not wanting to let go just yet. However, Midori pulled away after a few more moments, looking into Mika’s mismatched eyes. 

“Was that alright...? Sorry, I’m really not… the best hugger.”

Mika nodded. Midori’s lips curled upwards in just the slightest smile.

“Do you want to sleep now…? It’ll be annoying if you wake up sleep-deprived, so…”

Another nod. Midori acknowledged his answer with a quick thumbs up, making his way back to the bed and flopping back down on it. Mika slipped under the covers, turning on his side, away from the window and facing Midori, who had already powered down, in a metaphorical sense. He smiled, remembering how their hug had felt so  _ real  _ and  _ human _ .

He closed his eyes, no longer sleepless. 


End file.
